I have been known over they years to write a bawdy ballad or change the words to a song to make a dirty ditty... The other night after finding out about the new baby and being unable to sleep I had words running through my head and finally got up, turned on the computer to put them down so I could share with you all my craziness. And a sign my head is getting better because I haven't done any creative, if crude, writing in quite a long time. So hopefully you'll get a giggle out of this little bawdy ballad... I was singing it in my head to the "Beverly Hillbillies" but you can just read it if you want. I don't want to push my insanity on anyone else. Hear now for your amusement, I hope, is the results of my 5 a.m. no sleep mind wanderings.
Jenny was out grazing and watching over the herd
When a stray little Jack came wandering up the road.
We don't know where he came from or where he had called home
So Merri put him in the pasture to get him off the road.
Jack is what we call him, he was as gentle as could be
but when he met sweet Jenny that was all his eyes could see.
We could see that she was eying him while munching on some grass
He ambled over to her and said you have a mighty fine ...
Home, that is, lots of grass, hay in the winter and cows to guard, too
Jack says you need some help a-guarding I think I'll stay a while
Jenny raised her head and I swear I saw her smile
They grazed together over here and then over there
Jack decided to show Jenny just how much he cared.
He'd rub up against her and she would walk away...
if nothing else he was persistent in in his own sweet jackass way.
He got her cornered, he thought, down beside the crick
He made his move, she wasn't ready and she kicked him in the...
Belly that is... didn't want to hurt him bad, just show that she was boss.
Nature finally won out and Jack, he had his way,
Had himself a grand old time out standing in the hay.
Up by the fence, over by the corral the two of them got wild
And 12 months later she welcomed her new child...
A jenny, that is, and special like her mom and a great addition to the cattle farm.