Yeee-Hawwww...

If you don't think it is a fun time at Halloween when you live out in the boondocks, then you haven't lived in the right boondocks... Here's the big celebration going on 'round these parts of the woods.....

I think I may have to go and sit outside the church to take pictures of the little ghosts, goblins, princesses and supermen and their parents that are going to the Holy Ghost Wiener Roast.

It'll be a great time. Y'all come, ya hear!!!

Happy Halloween...

Talk about a fright night. Can you imagine taking your youngsters (or going yourself) trick or treating and being exposed to this big-assed pumpkin??

You always know it is getting Halloween time when you start getting e-mails such as these. I, fortunately (or not) have a plethora of family and friends that keep me supplied with Halloween photos of the more unusual nature.

I just thought I'd post this one for you all to peruse and ponder upon which of your friends or family members would be able to, and have cods, enough to pull off this double exposure.

DISCLAIMER:The images seen on this blog site are in no way intended to represent any known friend or family member of mine. AND it ain't my moons arising out of the Great Pumpkin Patch.

Amen

National Candy Corn Day...

October 30 has been designated as National Candy Corn Day. It is estimated that 20 million pounds are sold each year. Candy Corn is the number one Halloween candy treat in the U.S. and, I'm sure, beloved by the American Dental Association.

There have probably been more cars purchased by dentists financed by patients with a fondness for candy corn. I, myself, have been known to be anxiously awaiting October for the seasonal candy to come out because I was introduced to caramel candy corn.

I never really cared for candy corn, much to the delight of my parents, so that was never a source of income for my dentist, but 2 years ago I met caramel candy corn and I think I've made up for all that I didn't eat as a youngster. It is flat sinful. I go into a store and I am drawn by the sirens song to the candy corn display in search of caramel candy corn and it's like an out of body experience, I see my hand reach for the package and am powerless to stop myself.


I don't think I've ever, ever been this compulsive in my life, except maybe when I smoked. I know that with the end of October all will go back to normal because my supplier of caramel candy corn will slink back into the depths of their warehouses and count their loot, a good portion of which was provided by yours truly.

However hard it may be, I will have to let go of my beloved caramel candy corn and suffer the withdrawal symptoms, crying and cursing at the insidious sadistic mind that came up with this take off on the traditional candy corn and that has left me trembling and writhing in the pain of knowing that I will have to wait for 11 months to get my fix. And the whole process of the agony and the ecstascy will begin again.

Any and all help with coping with my withdrawal is not only welcomed, it is begged for from anyone who has a suggestion for easing the pain...

Just a Snippet...

Every now and then I have these, oh I don't know what to call 'em, flights of fancy, out of my mind experiences, enlightened ideas, brain explosions or brilliant deductions.... Normally, these realizations come to me in one sentence or sometimes two sentences... so I decided to call them snippets and will post them here as they come to me. Here's the first snippet:


Brain farts don't smell and the older I get, the more I appreciate that fact.


Feel free to post your snippets if you'd like or post them on your own blogs. See what sort of fun statements you can come up with... I think you will find it kinda fun.

Well, There's More To Add...

I don't know if you remember me writing a post about losing my a... or not, but now, obviously from the photo, there's more. It seems I'm also shiftless. My poor laptop is slowly but surely going to pieces.


The best thing about it is that it is my laptop going to pieces, not me. If I had realized how, in times of stress, pain, heartache, loss, and in good times, joyous moments and feeling great times, sharing my life is so cathartic I would have started blogging a long time ago.


Of course I am beating my laptop to death with all the blogging, reading other blogs and leaving messages, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera (from one of my all time favorite movies), but I think that is a small price to pay for the peace of mind from just putting myself and my thoughts for the world (or not) to read and contemplate (or not).

It isn't so much that I think my thoughts are so all-fired important to the masses, it is more like I like to throw it out there and see what comes back to me. So far I have had wonderful things come back to me, such as my Red Dirt Woman doodle (thank you Rick), friendships all around the country and even another continent (thank you Nola). I've enjoyed reading and posting on other people's sites, some of which are right here in my own backyard, in a manner of speaking (thank you Lisa J.) others I come to find by my love of critters such as dogs (thanks, Hallie), horses, and family (thank you, Ree) and so many others.

I guess I'm finding (in my older age) that the world is such a wonderfully diverse place that even if I live to be one hundred, which is not entirely unthinkable thanks to my gene pool, I will never, ever tire of exploring all the places I'd like to go and meeting all the wonderful people I'd like to meet. Of course if I live to be one hundred I probably won't remember them all, but I would enjoy meeting them at the time.

I think that is well worth being a shiftless old woman that's lost her a..., don't you?

Who, I Ask You...

Who would not feel like "Queen For A Day" if they clicked on a blog and found something especially for them right there in living color for all the world to enjoy?

Rick does such fantastic doodles and I feel so honored to have been featured with this doodle. I don't think that I've quit smiling for 3 days, even when cooking and cleaning house, and that is some kind of achievement and testimony to probably the best surprise, ever, in my life. Be sure to stop in at Organized Doodles and check out his work. The stories that go along with his drawings are worth the trip, too.

I was thinking about odd little inventions that we often use just by rote without thinking about who thought them up in the first place and probably got stupidly rich from them. Things like rubber bands... who ever thought of rubber bands and for what reason were they invented for originally?

Well, my friends, according to Wikipedia, the innocuous little rubber band was patented by Stephen Perry Bobstein, of Australia, on March 17, 1845. Since he invented, or at least was the one to patent it, the rubber band to hold envelopes together can you imagine how overwhelmed he would be if he were transported forward to our day and time to find that there being, not only about a trillion uses for them (including shooting spitwads at people), there is a web site for the lowly rubber band.

That's right folks, a web site. So if you want to know all kinds of stuff about rubber bands, you'll find it all (or mostly) at www.therubberband.info/ . The one thing it did not tell me was whether Stephen baby amassed incredible riches out of his invention, or if he died penniless and was buried in a pauper's grave.

We are here to educate and enlighten. Our next subject will be the paper clip.

Wow...

Rick, over at Organized Doodles, totally blew me away yesterday with a doodle of *#*#*#(drumroll)#*#*#* MOI !!! He is a totally amazing and thoughtful man and so kind to share a lot of his doodles with all of us and I love 'strutting his stuff' because he expresses thoughts and feelings so succinctly in his doodles.

Yesterday was one of my bad days and I had been in bed until the afternoon. When I got up and started my blog reading to catch up, I clicked on his blog and Bam! There was a RED DIRT WOMAN doodle!!! I was totally and absolutely surprised. I never thought about him doing something like that and his timing couldn't have been better. I think the delight from seeing his doodle eased my pain measurably and that was wonderful.

I urge all of you that may read this to go over to Rick's corner of the blogging world and see, not only MY doodle, but all of his doodles and read his posts. It will be a delightful visit, I assure you.

Rick, you all are on my list for okra next year, and I promise it will be a bigger mess than this years was. Your sweet bride may want to hit you in the head with the skillet for being so kind to this old red dirt woman. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your kindness.

Helen

Time To Get Cooking...

You'll notice a couple of new links on the right side of my blog. You remember me speaking of my roommate Carol of the snakebite fame? She and another friend who can also cook have started a cooking site called Kitchen Blogging. I have been fortunate enough to be their guinea pig and been forced (yeah, right) to eat some of their trial recipes so I can honestly tell you that there are some really, really good eats in their books. On their site, you can sign up for their mailing list and you will receive a free recipe of the week, or if you want to check them out first there is a free cook book but if you are like me (well, since I've eaten several of the results) and like having a cook book at hand in case of emergency, they also have cook books for sale.

These ladies know how to put food on the table and it would be worth your time to go check out their recipes.

Tell them Helen sent you... I don't get anything for sending you, I just liked saying it.

Lady Bugs And Jelly Beans...

I stand before you, not behind you, to address you, not undress you, on a subject I know nothing about...

I find it so strange and fascinating that I can remember silly things like the above from my childhood and I can't remember what I ate for lunch yesterday. I guess I started filling my brain with useless nonsense at a young age and now it is almost full and today things get shoved to the nooks and crannies in the hinterland of my gray matter, sometimes never to be found again.

It's not really a bother most of the time, but sometimes I get real aggravated with not being able to remember, and then Carol, or Bro, will say something wonderful like "I don't know why it bothers you. You've always been absent-minded." Well, absent-minded is one thing. I could stop and focus and get what I wanted to know pulled back up and be a happy camper.

And how many times have I gotten up to go do something and by the time I walk into the next room I can't remember what I was going to do and I have to go back to where I started and the light bulb comes on and it's an "Oh, yeah" moment? I have to just shake my head and either laugh or groan depending on the day.

Can you remember looking at you folks or your older relatives when you were younger and laughing to yourselves and thinking "I'm never gonna be like that. Geez, they need a keeper to go to the bathroom." and now you do also? Well, maybe not you, but I?

I'll leave you today with one more little diddy that I learned a way, way long ago, like 60 years ago, and any of you younger folks can contemplate and enjoy that I need a keeper, but you never will....

Roses on my shoulders, slippers on my feet. I'm my daddy's darlin'. Don't you think I'm sweet?

And when I finished it I would always say, "Uh huh!"

Have a good one today.

We Have A Winner!!!

Finally, you say, she is taking care of business. Yes I am, and I apologize for making you wait. I had to go meet my newest great-great nephew!! I hope to be able to posts some pictures for your perusal tomorrow.

Now for the results...*#*#*#*# {DRUMROLL}#*#*#*#*

Congratulations to Debbie at MamaBearsThoughts . Thank you each and every one for playing along with me and being patient with me.

Debbie, if you will e-mail me with your address, you'll have a new necklace and earrings to wear to celebrate fall and Halloween and anything other reason you want to wear them.

Time's Up...

Thanks, EVERYBODY, for playing with me. The time is up now, it's noon in Oklahoma. I have to unexpectedly go into town for a bit, but as soon as I get back this evening, I'll draw and post "the winner"!!

Thanks for being patient with me.

The Big "50"...

I've been thinking about what I wanted to share with you on this special blog and I think I want to talk about my family for a bit. My father was born in 1903 in Tennessee. Dad loved fun and joking and all us kids teased him and told him he had one leg shorter than the other from walking around the hilly country side in the backwoods of Tennessee.

My mom was born in 1909 in the rip-roaring state of Texas. Her mom and dad had a ranch out in the Texas panhandle around Canadian. When mom was getting up to highschool age, the family moved to Gentry, Arkansas. My father had moved to Siloam Springs, Arkansas, and was going to school at John Brown College. Mother enrolled for two years to earn her teaching certificate. And that's where they met and where a life time love was born.

They married in 1930 in Tulsa, Oklahoma, drove to Oklahoma City and lived in that city the rest of their lives. They had six kids over 17 years, 3 boys and 3 girls, and were married for 62 1/2 years when mom died at 85 years of age. My dad followed her home 2 years later at the age of 92. We always told mom, who was a stay-at-home-mom all her life, that she had a bunch of stars in her crown for putting up with dad. Dad always loved a good joke or a pun, loved to play Rook and was a bookkeeper all of his working life.

Now that you know that I wasn't found out in the field under a Prince Albert can, let's get to the good stuff. I wanted to mark my 50th post with something fun. The necklace and earrings pictured above will be given to one of my many (maybe) readers. You know, one of those bribes we all give to try to reap heaps of comments, praise, salutations and/or adulations.... The beads are pressed glass, iridized to give them a little extra pizazz. I picked the color and strung them in a more informal style because it's fall and also it's almost Halloween.

Simply comment telling me how your folks met, or you and your other half, or you and your dog...you get the idea. Tell me about the beginning of a special relationship in your life. All commentors names will be put in a hat with a little peanut butter smeared on one end of the paper and my sweet Chloe will draw the name of the winner.

Comments will be closed at 12 noon CST on Sunday, October 19, 2008, and the winner will be posted Sunday afternoon, or maybe later if I have to chase Chloe down before she eats the name... Did that sound professional?

Christmas Is Coming...

And retailers are working it earlier than ever. Rick, at Organized Doodles, got me to thinking about Christmas with the doodle you see on your right. With the economy in the toilet who can blame them for trying to "encourage" people to part with their pennies? I had to go into town a couple of days ago and went to Lowe's and to WallyWorld (WalMart for those of you who aren't into Okie speak) and both were working on getting Christmas displays set up, lit up and moving. I only saw about $600 worth of yard art and Christmas village houses and shops I'd like to have. Oh, well... want in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first.

And speaking of shitting, am I the only person in the world that has a problem with the #2 job in public restrooms? I think I could be near death with cramps before my butt hole would relax enough to be able to get even a little relief. And it's not because the bathrooms aren't clean or roomy enough to be comfortable to get in the stall, it's my weird head that makes my asshole slam shut. I mean if you go into a public restroom, you expect that you might smell an unpleasant odor, because evidently other folks don't have the same problem with anus retractor muscle lock-up. So what's the big deal? If I have a sudden attack of the trots and have no choice but the bathroom in a store or filling up my boots, I can go in a public bathroom, but it has to be just about that bad. Am I weird this way or does it bother others of you out there?

Just one of those things I wonder about....

My next post will be my 50th and I think it will be time for a give-away, so stay tuned, folks, while I think up something to post about. I promise I won't skip 2 or 3 days, and when I visit other blogs I'll mention it also to let folks know who have been kind enough to check out my corner of the blogging world. You make it fun for me and I just want to say a small thank you.

Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch...

The Lone Ranger woke up in the middle of the night, looked up at the stars and says, "Tonto, what a beautiful night. The stars are brilliantly bright. I wonder what that means?" Tonto grunted, "Kemo Sabe, it means somebody stole the tent. Duh..."

It's been one of those weeks, folks. About the time you think you've got a handle on a particle of your life somebody comes along and pees in your Post Toasties. And it's not really important, it just makes you realize that you really don't have any control in your life. And I really don't like insignificant happenings. If my life is going to get messed with, by golly, I want it to be an event.... not just some namby-pamby baby peeing in my Post Toasties. Other than that just let me go along in my rose colored glasses on a nice even keel.

And don't touch my tent.

Well, Crap...

All of a sudden it's Saturday. I'm not real sure where this week went. I drove with my Bro to help him move. We did a one day thing and I am totally trashed, both yesterday and today. We drove on Thursday, packed up stuff, loaded my little Ranger and a 5X8 trailer, then drove back home in the same day. Got home about 9:30 p.m. When I was able to drag myself out of the bed yesterday, we got my truck and the trailer unloaded and today I can hardly move. It's not so much that I'm hurting, it's just pure wrung-out exhaustion, a classic fibro whopped-out tard (Okie for really tired). I'll be back to my sparkling self tomorrow, I hope. It would have helped if OU hadn't gotten their butts beaten by Texas. What a groaner of a game to top a groaner of a week....

I Think I Lost My Mind...

And after what I witnessed on the "debate" tonight, I'm not sure that I want it back. How can it be that 2 people who are battling for the highest post in the land can seemingly be so out of touch with the American people? And why do I, and millions of others feel like we are beating our heads against a wall trying to be heard? I have voted in every election since 1966 when I became legal to vote.

I was young, enthusiastic, and, obviously, naive. I somehow thought that even if the candidates I voted for did not win, my vote and that of others like me would be looked at by both parties as a message that even though my people may not have won, they had things that they espoused that were important to a lot of people and should be considered by our elected officials.

Naw... they just won the frikken' election. Piss on all those poor bastards that didn't vote for me... I'll make 'em pay, one way or the other. Well, I kept up my chin, being a glass half full kind of gal, and would walk into my polling place for the next one, place my vote, and if my candidate won, I would see them do the same damn thing to people of the other party.

It's no farking (thanks Nola) wonder we can't get anything done about all the situations going on today. Billy Bob senator wants Joe Willy representative to kiss his lily white Christian ass before he will help talk up a bill to his senate cronies, while Joe Willy wants a piece of pork slipped into the bill that would get him a destruction derby race track built on some land that Bart Buddy owns back home because Bart Buddy gave him a big ass donation from his millions that his pappy made in bootleggin' back during probition...

I'll be so glad when this election is over...The older I get the more frustrated I get.

HALLIE... HALLIE...WHERE ARE YOU??? And Sock Monkey... I will quit calling you silly names... maybe

Another image from the fertile mind of Rick at Organized Doodles. I saw this one on a post a couple of weeks ago and told Rick when I learned to lift his doodles I was coming back for this one. It had me rolling on the floor, and after last night, he may have to go back and change it to where she is winking. Tina Fey is going to have a ball with adding 'the wink' to her impression.

Oh, well... for your enjoyment in whatever fashion...

And Rick, I thank you again for your generosity.

Oh, You All Are Going To Hate Me...

Some days there are things that happen that you just have to share... Spread the joy, as it were. Actually, it's my Bro that you all can hate for this one. We were talking about something on t.v., I don't remember what about, and evidently it plucked a chord in Bro's head and he started singing... (if songs get stuck in your head, stop reading NOW)




{( WARNING!! WARNING!! STOP NOW!!)}




"Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?". Let me tell you that was stuck in my head for all the rest of that day and even into the night. I woke up with my 4:30 bladder attack and immediately it started playing...

"Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?
If your mother says don't chew it, do you swallow it for spite?
And you catch it on your tonsils and you heave it left and right,
Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost over night?"

So I thought maybe it's like a cold. If you share it, it goes away. If I'd learned how to download music I'd of downloaded it for you all, but you were saved by my ignorance on that front.

Anybody have a catchy tune that sticks in their head for a bit if they hear it? Feel free to share. I am expecting paybacks on this one.

Wahooo!! Rick, I Did It!!!

Rick over at Organized Doodles draws some great caricatures and has a number of them that others can lift to their posts. As most of you know, I'm a relative newbie to blogging, oh, all right, to computers period, and I'm trying to learn how to do different things to add interest to my little corner of the blogsphere. Rick has had a couple of drawings lately that I have really liked and I finally, this morning, figured how to lift one and I'm sooo excited! So you'll be seeing more from this talented man on my posts, for sure. Rick, thank you for sharing your talents. It is, I assure you, most appreciated and thoroughly enjoyed!