Friday, June 10, 2011

I'm Not Dead...

I'm just not alive but I'm working on it. I hate depression and fighting it gets more difficult as I get older.

Now that that is out of the way... I have been doing something besides vegging on FaceBook playing games. I planted a small garden...

Here are some potatoes and onions. We've already started eating on the onions, some sweet whites that I don't know the name of but they sure are good.

Baby jalapenos. I love the flavor and spiciness of jalapenos. I'm hoping that the docs figure out what is going on with my belly so that I can eat more of them without worrying about them jumping on my last pain nerve inside. I used to be able to eat them anytime, no worries, but the last six months it has been a crapshoot.

Bell peppers... one of Carol's favorite veggies. She loves green bell peppers. I like all of the bells and think all of them have very distinct flavor, the reds, yellows and orange as well the green.

We have also planted four tomato plants and Carol planted some squash and green beans in the infamous yellow tubs that we had such good luck with in the past. I went from almost three acres to play and plant on year before last to last year's large garden at my cousin's to this year.

A small garden, little what I call "pocket gardens", raised beds, and our tubs. I can't say as I mind having less space to tend as it has been very hot already in Oklahoma and it's not even legally summer yet.

These raised beds I made a couple of months ago with 2X4's that I had bought to build a picket fence around the front part of the trailer to match the one I built off the back door side of the trailer. The management said I couldn't put fence all the way around our trailer so we have a couple of raised beds. I'll be nice and not tell you what I think about that decision.

You can see a bit of the picket fence in this picture of the sunflowers that Carol planted in a little pocket garden spot. You can also see the ramp I built for Chloe to the back porch. She has been having some problems with the steps, the shorter in stride they are the harder it is for her to get up them. She is in good health still so I did for her what I hope someone will do for me someday... made her life a little easier. I do get teased for it by my family, but they love me despite my peculiarities where my pups are concerned.

One of our neighbors, when we moved into this trailer park, was a tree cutter/trimmer. We got a bunch of pine stumps and used them on the front porch side to make a little barrier to have a place to stash the shovels, rakes and hoe or to sit and take a break without being right out by the cars. We started a bit of a shade garden since the trees in our front are volunteers that were never properly ripped out or tended to. And there had to be a flamingo for me.

This small, long flower bed is on the east side of our lot. You can see the two volunteer trees and the stump and the stump barrier on the right. This area is our front and side yard. The good thing is not much area to mow and by this time next year we hopefully will have even less to mow. Carol and I are both proponents of the English style garden where all the yard is flowers and plants. Carol because she loves the flowers and me because I don't like to mow behind a push mower, power or otherwise, and the property is really not big enough for our rider.

This little plant got me to get the camera out to go on this little tour of the plantation. I didn't know that hens and chick type succulents had flower spikes with little blooms on them. This is as full open as I've seen these little blooms. I don't know if they open like a little flower or if this is the only way they grow. I figured if I hadn't seen bloom spikes like these there was probably some other gardener out there that hadn't seen anything like them either.

This other little bloomer I hadn't seen before either. It's another simple succulent that is in the same container as the previous photo. Maybe the copper from the pot gives them some type of mineral or something that encourages the little ones to bloom... who knows?.

I just know that these kind of surprises give me hope that tomorrow will be better. Sometimes the least little things give us hope that the sun will shine again inside us.

This photo is just 'cause I liked it and wanted to share.

Keep me in your prayers, okay?

Tomorrow... a farm report on this years seed trial. Thanks to Tipper at the Blind Pig and The Acorn I'm doing this year's planting by the signs. We are doing cucumbers this year and I'll be posting my first report tomorrow.


Laura~peach~ said...

you recall those little round thingys you sent to me... they BLOOMED yellow this year very tiny itty lovlies and the other plant i thought i killed has come back beautifully... everything else...Ididkill :( but those two have really taken off!!!!!
I love seeing them each day and spending a few thinking abotu and thanking you ... Love you hope you have a great weekend!

Paxie said...

We make a good team. Your depression and my anxiety. I've been "out of it" for a couple of months. I promise...we will survive ♥

I continue to be amazed at your building skills. I like the raised beds and I just like all of it. Less grass is my goal too, although it's a long tough fight. If it weren't for the rider, I'd be doomed.

Your garden is beautiful.

Oh, the cold compressed extra virgin coconut oil (GNC) has helped my acid reflux tremendously!! I'm off the Prevacid and hopefully will stay off. Can't hurt to try sweetie :)

darsden said...

I understand and hope you are back to yourself real soon!! I lost a lot of Me..myself.

Your garden looks great love how you did the flower beds too. We are have a major drought I cannot buy rain so I am dragging hoses all over here!

Hope things get better for you!

Twisted Fencepost said...

I'm with ya on the depression thing. Will it ever go away? Or is it something I must deal with from now on???? Seems the harder I try the worse it gets.
Love you flower beds and that wall is a neat idea!

Lonicera said...

I think gardening of whatever description is the best therapy there is. As you huff and puff your way round the borders or dig the soil there's just no energy left to think sad thoughts. I know they return, but your mind gets a sort of mini holiday, doesn't it?
I'm glad I eventually gave in to taking a mild antidepressant, because although the root cause doesn't go away, it enables me to get on with things, and best of all to write.
My thoughts are with you Helen - I'm glad you're now getting warmer weather and can be outside more. You were couped up with winter weather for too long I think.

Reddirt Woman said...

Laura glad to know some of those little toughies made the trip and are giving you pleasure now. They ought to keep on going for years now.

Debbie I know we will survive but I just get damn impatient for survival to get to living...

Dar I was at your place this a.m. and it made my mouth water... what good looking veggies. We've gotten one tomato so far and I know what you mean about dragging hoses. Things will get better for all of us.

Becky The stump wall turned out to be such a fun thing. Some of the stumps were flat enough on top to set a pot of flowers. It gave us more options on places to put things. Hang in, girlfriend. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Caroline I love your mini holiday for the mind thought. I'll keep that in mind when the dark thoughts try to creep up on me. I'm going through a bit of medical crap right now but when my body settles I'm going to see about a little pill myself. Better living through chemistry don't you know... None of us should have to battle all the time for a bit of quality of life.

Thanks to all of you for keeping the faith and checking up on me. It means a huge bunch!

jojo said...

Oh Helen, from all the comments it looks like we are in good company...misery loves company right? I lost a big part of myself somewhere so when I am out looking for me/her I will keep a watch out for you too...we must stick together. Love you, miss you...see you on FB.

Ronda said...

Love your little eden in your yard! I understand about the depression it sure can bite sometimes.

Having those in your life that understand what you are going through really helps.

Chin up and know we all have your back! Just let us know what we can do.... Lots of prayers coming you way!

Institute for Internet Safety said...

What a remarkable talent on gardening you have. You indeed a role model. That even at home, in a limited space, you could create a garden of your own. Thanks for sharing such awesome blog.