Showing posts with label de-pression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label de-pression. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Off The Walls Of My Mind…

Sometimes I sit around and think too much…  Usually about one thing, but sometimes like today I have random thoughts bouncing around in my head and every now and then a thought will even stop me in my tracks.  The one thought that I’d like to share with you all today…

What costume would Lady GaGa wear for Halloween?  Would she just run around with no make-up, a pair of old jeans and a sweatshirt and normal shoes? 

This is just on example of the wonderful things that trip through my mind when I’m sitting doing something mindless on the computer but I’ll share some of my more normal recent moments now and the photos to back them up…

October 30th I went out to my Cuz’s with the girls and spent the night and had a very good visit with her and my Bro.  The pupsters got to run around outside without leashes on and they, too, had a great visit with Spud and Lucky.  My Cuz and I wandered out to the back garden on a stroll and picked these…

10.30.2010 007 Well, at least the bell peppers part of these.  We went to the front and picked all those jalapeno peppers.

10.30.2010 006 

Both the bell pepper plants and the jalapeno plant were loaded still with babies and blooms both.  They have been producing like crazy since the weather cooled down. The okra is done for the season but I thought you’d enjoy seeing what the okra looks like when it is dried:

 compactor and okra 002

These are some that I picked up, two were on the ground and two were dried on the plants.  The seeds rattle in them like a baby rattle and these four will have enough seeds to insure that I have okra seeds enough for a small plot in my yard in Norman. 

compactor and okra 003 If you look real close you can see the two pods on your left have just barely started splitting open, but what I think is so neat is the ribbon look to the pods.

Earlier in the week my cousin had picked these:

10.30.2010 008 Roma tomatoes and more bell peppers.  When we were in the front I checked out the tomato plants and there was a load of green tomatoes even at this late date.

But this is what caught my eye initially and drew me out to the front garden…

10.30.2010 003 My yellow double blooming iris that I had moved from Noble was blooming!

10.30.2010 005 Lordy I love having a touch of spring in the fall.  Whomever was the genius that managed to breed double blooming iris is wonderful.  If I ever meet them I’ll give them a big kiss on the cheek and a big hug.

My black mood that I’ve been trying to deal with was lightened, at least for the afternoon, thanks to my Cuz, my Bro, the dogs and a mystery iris hybridizer.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I Did Not Fly Away Today…

Although there were tornados all around the area where I’m living, we were all fine.  We had some pretty heavy rain for a bit which means I didn’t have to water either of the gardens. 

Speaking of gardens, would you like a tour?

5.10.2010. gardens and cows and calves 001 What first caught my attention after I got back from going to the “doc in the box” was the mommas and babies wandering up by the fence in the back yard.  I had to go get the camera and see if I could get some pictures to share.

5.10.2010. gardens and cows and calves 006 Calf 2911 was the most curious about what that white-legged one eyed tall thing was… I liked her hair do. 5.10.2010. gardens and cows and calves 005 I really like that the mommas and babies are so close to the house.  When the little ones start playing it is very entertaining.

suppertimeIt was getting on toward supper time and several babies were nursing…

good milk, momThose mamas are very patient I think.  If I had one attached to me that butted my poor little girls as hard as these bump their mamas I would probably be biting the little grubber in the bohiney.

looking for mama This little shy girl was looking for mama.  All of the cattle are Limousin.   They are low fat producers, a very lean breed, but are also known for being very protective so unless absolutely necessary we keep a fence or a vehicle between us and them…

Meanwhile, to the gardens we go.

backyard garden This is the backyard garden.  So far there is broccoli, cabbage, spinach, 3 squash plants that were given to me already growing in their pots, some onion and at the far end, red potatoes.

     Almost ready broccoliThis is our first almost ready broccoli… about the size of a soft ball.

cabbage plant and my foot You all know me… I have to have something for size comparison.  That bare foot wears an 8 1/2  shoe…. when I put shoes on.  This is cabbage (in the center).  Crooked neck squash to the right and spinach to the left of the cabbage.

front yard garden The beginnings of the front yard garden.  There is about 4 times the space of the back yard garden.  We have planted 12 tomato plants you see here.

f.y. garden 2 To the left of the tomato cages are the second batch of new potatoes that I planted about a month after the new potatoes in the back garden.  We all love new potatoes and I thought perhaps I could extend the growing season…  Far left along the fence are iris. next are onions, next is more cabbage (these are red) and broccoli then garlic and finally more of the new potatoes. Coming towards us from the cabbage are three rows of onion that were planted about 3 weeks after the row on the left.

red cabbage and my foot You know that besides my foot for size I have to show the red dirt.  This was after the storms blew through and the wind picked up the dust and the rain settled it on these huge leaves.

red dirt on red cabbage Another red dirt on cabbage photo.

5.10.2010. gardens and cows and calves 043 This is the bloom stem of an onion that has been out there for a year or two.  I would have taken more of this but it was starting to sprinkle again.  Gotta think of the camera, you know, because we all know I don’t melt.

yes, Cuz and I do use this. Yes, my cousin Carol and I both used this thing.  Her son, Scott, my wonderful second cousin tilled both gardens up real well for us and we use this between rows to turn up weeds and grass… and,in my case, to try to trim up some. I like cookies too much.

These are part of the things that have kept me away from blogging… well, no not really… I have to keep this part of my life real.  I have been having to deal with bad depression… Several things hitting at once.  Moving out of the relationship and home that I had with Carol for over 22 years this last stretch, the anniversary of the OKC bombing that hit me so close to home that I haven’t yet gone to see the Memorial, the anniversary of my mother’s death 16 years ago that still cuts like a knife, my sister’s husband of 48 years is dying of cancer and just went on hospice last Thursday so we are expecting a call any day now.  Sis is dealing with it a whole lot better than I am for worrying about her and realizing that at age 65 I have no control over any facet  of   my life. Hallie and John losing their oldest son to suicide and Connor, his younger brother losing his sib that he looked up to so much and that brought up my memories from when my oldest sister  died very suddenly of a brain hemorrhage when I was almost 13…

And to add  the kicker, I have managed to stress myself  flat into a case of shingles. Around from my mid-section to my back and that sucks big time. I’ve never had them before but knew folks who did and wondered how grown folks could piss and moan about how painful they were.  There’s even the folk or old wives tale, whichever you prefer that if shingles go all the way around your body they kill you.  Missy, who has had shingles, and I decided today that it wasn’t really the shingles that killed you… you just would hurt so much that you wanted to die…

Got to have good news to wipe out the bad… I received my summer squash crookneck seeds from Tipper over at The Blind Pig and The Acorn and we are going to do the good planting day vs. the bad planting day.  Yep, another experiment about planting with the signs.  Aren’t you excited!  I know I am.  My conscience won’t let me get by without reporting about how the squash is doing so that gets me off games on Face Crack Book as Kim calls it and back to where I belong…  With all of you.  And I am going to make it back.  Depression bores the crap out of me.  About 2 or 3 weeks is about all I can stand of being morose and studying what I can find of my belly button so I’ll grab the bootstraps, get them on and get outside to the garden where the sunshine and growing things bring me back to the reality of how much I have missed by just laying around and studying my navel…

For those of you that have stuck around, you have my deepest appreciation.  I love you all and I apologize for dropping of the blogging world for as long as I have. I promise to try not to ever let it happen again.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Suck It Up, Girlfriend...


I did get out of bed, I did take a bath and I might have even talked to one or two people, at least maybe one or two words.

I've got to come back to life for THE GAME Thursday night. I've got to come alive and bake some cookies tomorrow or Thursday to have to pig on during THE GAME.

Lisa over at My New Thing To Do read my sugar cookie recipe and sent me one of her's to try, so I'm going to give it a try tomorrow or Thursday and I promised her that I would let her know what I think of them.

I've got to come back to some reasonable facsimile of life because even my SueSue didn't want to sleep with me last night. She left Chloe and me, jumped off the bed even before I went to sleep and got on another roommate's bed and went to sleep... even before Pat (the roomie) went to bed!!! Could you, if you were me, look at that face and not feel guilty for being a grumpy old woman?

So I've got to snap out of it whether I want to or not... Before even my precious Chloe takes flight, too. Since she just turned 9, or 63 in human years, she may have decided that, after all these years, she made her bed and she might as well hang in there with me.





In my present state of mind I will not read anything into this hang-dogged, resigned-to-her-fate-look.



We've been through a lot worse together.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Please Don't Feel Neglected...

I've been terribly busy having a pity party... or a blue funk... or, or just plain ole' de-pressed.

I hate de-Christmasing the house. My world feels so blank and colorless and now I , too, feel blank and colorless. I might as well let my hair grow out to it's real color, mousy brown (with just a few strands of gray mixed in).

I don't want to bathe (my roommates stay away from me), I don't want to talk (so no one speaks to me), I don't want to make jewelry, I don't want to do anything but get in my bed, turn on the electric blanket (it's gray and cold today again) and cry myself to sleep. Well, maybe not cry myself to sleep, but to just sleep, perchance to dream...

Since I dream in full-blown technicolor, my life improves dramatically when I sleep, but never fear... this too shall pass.

Hopefully in a hurry.