Thursday, March 13, 2014

I Think It's A Sign...

I think it's a sign that I need to start blogging again...  Face Book has determined that I am a non-entity. I have been locked out and blanked out of the games, off of friends lists and the Good Lord only knows what I might have done to screw up my account. So since even I, the game player, need to talk sometimes and I have been silent too long so we need to play catch up.

So much has happened in the last year that I will have to figure where to start. My depression pretty much got out of hand for a variety of reasons and then I started having palsy in my hands and when I would try to type I would uncontrollably hit the key several times and it would just frustrate the dickens out of me and certainly didn't help the depression, feeling like all I was doing was forever correcting myself and I had enough people in my life criticizing what ever I was doing. I hit bottom. Period.

I didn't want to do anything more than was absolutely necessary. I quit caring for myself physically and mentally. I just didn't give a shit. All I wanted to do was sleep. My poor dogs were so patient with me.

I finally sought professional help and started taking anti-depressants. It's taken a while but I am finally starting to feel like myself again, albeit off and on.

Some of the other things that have happened in the last year...I had to put my sweet Chloe down last May I believe. I'm real sketchy when it comes to dates. I was packing to move to low income apartments since Carol and her sister were moving to Broken Arrow and blew a compression fracture, T-7 or T-8 I don't remember now which one but I had to move by July 1st so I was so drugged up that I am still finding things that were put up in my apartment by friends, but thank God for friends that were kind enough to help. I was already in a world of hurt with my back and Carol moving away and would have even been more so if I hadn't had friends to help me.

SueSue and I got moved in and I spent most of my time playing on Face Book and basically watching the world go by. The only time I got out was to walk SueSue because we have no fenced yard, go to the grocery and to doctor appointments. My family doc sent me to a back specialist, he had the MRI done and found the fracture and in September I went in the hospital and had surgery or I should say got my back superglued back together. I had to stay overnight so they could make sure I could go to the bathroom on my own and what better time to try that out than night time?  Also had to be able to shower by myself and eat before they would let me go back home. The most awesome part of the whole deal was that I could walk Suess without pain. I was no longer doing the Tim Conway "old man shuffle".

More to come tomorrow...



9 comments:

joanne said...

glad to see you post...;j

Sara said...

So glad to see your post pop up this morning! Hugs - you've had a tough road since we last heard from you. I sincerely hope that life will keep improving for you.

IISAFETY said...

Yeah, I agree that you should be back on blogging. I know that you love making blogs, right? Good luck and more power!:)

Debbie said...

Helen, I have been thinking so much about you lately and your situation other than FB posts. I decided to get back into blog reading and I see you are posting. I'm so thankful you got help and dug yourself out of the big black hole. It's not easy. I was in the psych ward at the hospital for 10 days last August because I needed help. I've been working on a lot of techniques. You've had a tough and big change in your life with Carol and I understand. Just know God is with you and you are on my prayer list. Love you hon ♥

Thomas M. Baily said...

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Anonymous said...

Yeah, I agree that you should be back on blogging. I know that you love making blogs, right? Good luck and more power!:)



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