I'm here to tell you that introspection is tough. I've been feeling really bad for the last couple of weeks. I've been through bronchitis and dealing with what seems to be the latest vampire pit stop with different blood tests checking for different ailments, numerous gall bladder tests, chest x-rays and other miscellaneous b.s. that the doc thought up to try to figure out why I've been feeling like a truck ran over me. Let's face it... it's too dang much when you tell Smiley at the lab to draw out of your right arm because they just took an i.v. needle out of your left arm a couple of days before. Not trying for sympathy or anything with the telling of this tale, simply leading up to my revelations.
As some of you know when you are not well or feeling just like the dickens, whatever the reason, we get to being retrospective. Sometimes it's a good thing to do and other times it's just because our minds get to running in circles and don't have sense enough to light down someplace. I decided, with all the lucidity of what little brain cells I have that are still active, that contrary to popular belief... 60 is not the new 40. Not unless you feel a hell of a lot better than I do. Somebody is doing a really big sales job.
The "Golden Years" are gold, alright. They are gold for the doctors. I have had in the past two weeks, three blood draws, two i.v.'s hooked up for two different tests and one ultrasound that didn't have any involvement with needles.. yea. I don't even want to think about the bills that are going to come in after medicare takes care of what little they do pay. And the worst part is the last two days I've felt like crap in a different way than when I talked to the doctor and all this testing stuff got started.
This has gone a totally different direction than when I first started writing this post. I didn't mean to turn this into a total bitch session. I would just like to feel halfway human again. To not be worried about getting in the car and driving for an hour to go visit my cousin and my brother or to jump in the car and drive for three hours to visit family in Ft. Worth. So I'm going to shut this post down and re-contemplate what I was going to write originally.
Next post will be lighter. I promise.
Oh, and so far everything is negative...
9 comments:
sweetie, bitch all you want, that's why we have blogs. Get it out and then move on usually helps me. But really, I am sorry you are feeling so dumpy, I'm keeping good thoughts for you, give a call if you need to talk! love you.
Glad it's all negative Helen - but what is it? The national passtime here is to criticise the NHS, but at least it means you don't have to worry about money. I'm sure having to pay plays a role in deciding whether or not to have tests, and how many. Keep us posted?
Caroline
Sorry to hear you are feeling so crappy. Bitch all you like. I would too if I had to pay for all the tests and things that have been done to me. Go out when the sun is shining. You're probably lacking Vitamin D.
You get to complain all you want! I personally think it's healthy to vent once in a while. Here's hoping you get some answers and will be on the mend soon. You can't enjoy spring if you don't feel good!
Girl, do you think we care if you bitch? It doesn't mean no nevermind to me, because I TRULY believe that that's what friends are for.
I hope they get to the bottom of things soon, because it hurts to know that my friend's hurting...
xoxoxo
carry on, vent, bitch, kick, scream, cry what ever it takes ... and remember that I love you :)
hope you feel better quickly!
You can bitch all you want, my friend, just be sure some of it is directed toward the doctor. They need to find out what is going on. Negative is good but it isn't making you feel better.
Keep bugging them and keep telling us what is going on. That stuff about 60 being the new 40 is crap.
60 IS 60 and it different. It's when things get serious and not feeling good is a sign that something is wrong.
Give em hell Reddirt Woman....
My dr said her elderly patients say "the only thing golden about the golden years is our urine" lol.
I know how our bodies begin to tell us we're no longer youthful, I have had 3 epidurals for my back the past 4 months & that's just the tip of the iceberg,LOL!
Hang in there Helen.
Feel free to express yourself on your blog, for in this way you will be free with nerve-cracking emotions deep inside. Keep praying!
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