Let's Just Talk...

I've referenced fighting depression but haven't said much about anything else that's been going on with me...mostly because I don't want to come off as a whiney butt. I've also been having physical issues as well as mental and it was something I thought would be a easy fix... a gall bladder. They did every test known to man, woman, or large dog and have decided that my gall bladder still works so now the hunt begins with the liver... since the liver enzymes were up and the gall bladder was working okay it wasn't the cause of the liver enzymes being up.

So Friday I will do blood work for the internist that I see on Tuesday, the 5th, to see if the enzymes are dropping back towards normal, staying static, or hopefully not risen even higher. If they are higher the doctor is going to want to do a liver biopsy. That is scary to me because of family history. My favorite aunt died of alcoholism and my Bro is an alcoholic although he has been dry for 17 years now. Yea, Bro!!!

I'm just blocking all this out of my mind or else I will make myself crazy with worry and that does no good. So now you know the back story to my wanting to just duck and cover. I do that when I worry...even when I'm trying not to worry. It's just if my liver is messed up I don't know what that entails. No one in my family, with the exception of my aunt ever had any liver problems and she lived in California so I wasn't around to see her deterioration and the whole thought of things unknown scare me.

I will keep you all posted. This is about as much as I've bared my soul to anyone or admitted that I'm somewhat nervous and afraid. I see the doctor next Tuesday so you all can think about this right along with me until then.

I will have another post in the next day or two because I spotted a baby cucumber that I need to take photos of for the farm report.