Does Anyone Know…

Where I can get a 55 gallon drum of face spakle?  I was originally going to just show you this photo for the  way past the “glow” stage of sweating that Southern women are never to admit passing and I thought, for reasons of a wedding coming up next month, I’d ask for make-up suggestions……

I don’t know if you can “embiggen” the picture enough to see, but my crow’s feet, sun grin, squint lines are deep and white compared to the rest of my face… and we won’t even go into the bulldogs jowls or the turkey crepe-y neck…

Are big hats appropriate at weddings?

Anyone got suggestions?

Other than staying home?