Thoughts Of A Lady In Waiting...

And I use the term 'lady' loosely since I'm the 'lady' in the title. Now to explain...

I had a colonoscopy today and while waiting my turn in the line up I got to thinking about all things related to the procedure. First off, who thought this up in the first place and whatever drew the person in question to the interest in this part of one's anatomy. Had they been a spelunker in a former life or did they just like to explore dark caves for a hobby in this life? Are the doctors that specialize as G.I.'s just enamored over the idea of going places that no man, or very few men, have ever gone before... I mean, face it, that is just not a very interesting landscape or moonscape, as it were, to most people in this world.

And don't you think that there ought to be some sort of mood music playing while you wait to have your innards perused? Perhaps something like the theme from 'Star Wars', a reference again to going where no man has ever gone before. And I think they, the owners of the endoscopy services, ought to hire someone to be on duty to kiss you before the procedure for obvious reasons... I wouldn't ask for a cigarette afterwards because I quit smoking a number of years ago but for those who do choose to still smoke I think it would be appropriate to have an area for such purposes. No, I wouldn't ask for sweet talk as that might be considered being too demanding.

And, finally, the scheduling staff shouldn't book so many appointments per day so that if the doctors that are preforming the procedure get backed up, pun intended, some idiot like me won't have to wait so long and have the time to think stuff like this up. And this is but a smattering of the thoughts that played ping pong in my head while I was waiting for my exam.

Wouldn't you all like to play in my head some days?

P.S. I forgot to tell you that the doctor did dispel one popular rumor... my head is not, I repeat, is not up my butt all the time...