I know that some people that don’t know my weird sense of humor would think that the title of my post is not very empathetic or appropriate but it was the only thing that popped into my head when I started to write this post.
I got the call from baby brother this morning that my brother-in-law died early this morning. Believe me when I say that it was a blessing. If you have ever lost anyone to a terminal disease, while you don’t want to lose your loved one, the last thing you want is for them to linger on and have to deal with a lot of suffering. I talked to my sis and she was very relieved that he was surrounded by love and family and while she knew that there would some rough times for her ahead, she was so thankful and at peace with his passing because she didn’t want him to suffer. Sue, my sister, has very strong belief in God and the faith that Bill is in a far better place and not suffering anymore uplifts her and gives her strength.
The life part of this post? Earlier in the week I had made an appointment to get a haircut today. It has been rainy and unusually cool for this time of year in Oklahoma the last couple of days and will continue on for this week and I didn’t want to stir from my nice warm bed all cuddled up with my furbabies. After my brother called to tell me about Bill I knew it would be useless to drift back to sleep. I made some family calls and then it was time to drive to Norman to get my haircut. Walter drove me and he, too, got his haircut, we ran some errands and came back home. I was tired, hurting from the shingles, the fibro raising cain with me because of the weather and all I wanted to do to stretch out on the bed, take my meds and veg out for a while until I walked to the back door and looked out…
Despite the hurting, both physical and emotional, these sights reminded me of the renewal of life. That is part and parcel of this thing we call life…
The cycles. We are born, we grow up, some of us marry and birth the babies that start the next cycle. We continue to grow and to try to help the next generation learn the things they need to know to get them through the tough times, get them standing on their own two feet and if you are lucky, as Sue and Bill were during their 48 years of married life, they raised their four boys and Bill lived long enough see their grandchildren and celebrate their children’s joy at the birth of their children. Their grandchildren had the chance to meet and get to know their grandfather and even the little ones will have some memories of their grandfather. Their grandmother, my sister, along with their sons will keep his memory alive through the multitude of stories that Bill and his brothers and his one sister have lived and told over the years and, believe me, there is a boat load of them and there will be lots of laughter filling my sister’s home and heart again…
Oh, yes… the broccoli…
And my cousin made her baked potato soup while we were gone to get our haircuts because she knew it is a comfort food for me, but tonight she added a twist to it… baked potato and broccoli soup. It warmed not only my tummy but also soothed my heartache for my sister and her family’s loss and reaffirmed that there is still a lot of good left in this life. And some of it I helped to grow.
Well some may complain about navel contemplation but you have found some good stuff in there :)
ReplyDeleteand out the back door in that live affirming pasture.
I'm glad I came over for a read as usual.
Tina
So sorry about your Bro in law, but he is not suffering and is in a better place. You write your blogs so beautifully. Always so heart felt. Thanks for sharing with us.
ReplyDeleteI too have fibromyalgia and the cooler wet temps make the pain worse. I hope that you are feeling better.
I would sure love a bowl of baked potato soup with broccoli. Sounds devine. I would love her recipe, if she'd be willing to share.
Keep blogging my friend, as you make my spirits rise.
God Bless~
Debbie Jean
beautiful life-affirming post. Your words were so eloquent and heart-felt, that I felt touched by them. I am sorry about your sis's husband but it sounds like he was ready and will live on forever.
ReplyDeleteI just recently joined the fibro club and I have empathy with all of you who suffer with it. I'm not liking this at all!!
take care Helen.
Such a heartfelt post. I'm glad I stopped by before I went to bed tonight. Life goes on..... and thank goodness that it does. And thank goodness for cows and their calves. That soup sounds delicious!
ReplyDeleteI love your posts! You have a "true" voice. Please keep speaking to us.
ReplyDeleteGood post Helen - and I hope your meds are kicking in as they should. I would love to be able to open the back door and walk to where those mookies are!
ReplyDeleteCaroline
Ahh, girl, what a perfect post! Sometimes it's the little things... the little blessings and balms that soothe us, that count for so much, eh?
ReplyDeleteYour family will be in my thoughts and prayers, but never discount the power of a good homemade soup either!
xoxoxo
You always have a way of seeing the good, calm, and wonder in it all. I love seeing the prairie dotted with those little ones this time of year. Death has a sting no matter if it is a blessing or not. You take care of yourself and seek comfort in the warmth of soup or your furbies. Stay dry and out of the wind!
ReplyDeleteThat pasture is a "healing place", isn't it? Visit it as often as needed. My prayers are with your family on the loss of your brother-in-law.
ReplyDeleteThank you Tina for your kind words...When life gets really bad I always find solace out of doors. It just so happens that right now I have babies to watch and that really soothes the aching heart.
ReplyDeleteDebbie Jean it was a really rough last few months for my b.i.l. but in the end it was a peaceful passing. I'll ask my cousin how she makes her soup and post it up. I'm sure that she will be glad to share.
JoJo I hate that you joined the fibro club but maybe that will help explain some of the things you have been dealing with the last year or two. And, yes, he was ready. He tried everything the oncologist said because he felt for a time like he would be abandoning his family if he didn't try but there was too much to try to overcome and he was worn out. His sons assured him that they would watch out for and care for my sis and he could rest knowing that she would be okay.
ReplyDeleteCindy I try to 'keep it real' although sometimes it is difficult for me to open myself up as much as I should... but I keep working on it.
Hetty as you know despite all the trials and tribulations, the sadness and heartache there is so much joy to be found in this wonderful world of ours. You, like me, often find it outside in your garden. I thank you, my friend, for hanging in with me through these last couple of months.
Caroline I hope that I've got the shingles on the down hill side and the pain meds help with the fibro, too. It has just been an unusually cool and wet last month here in Oklahoma. I'll probably be wishing for some of this 'achy' weather along about August.
Ah, Katie, if we took a poll of those who read us or whom we read, we'd all find each of us has comfort foods that soothe us. And no one should ever, ever doubt the "little blessings" that encourage us to keep on keeping on...
You right, Doc Sly, no matter how much we expect it, death still does have it's sting. But when you've watched someone you love suffering, whether it is a spouse, a parent or whomever and not being able to do anything the relief of their passing does take away some of the sting.
Sara, the pastures and the garden is probably the most life affirming and comforting places in my life. Thank you for your prayers. They are very much appreciated by me, my sis and her family.
I'm so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law's passing. But I understand about how it can also be a relief not only for the one suffering but also for those helplessly watching. It is exactly how I felt when my brother passed in March. He had been suffering for over a year and so had I, knowing there was nothing I could do for him. I can only imagine his laughter when he got to Heaven and realized he could walk again. And then met Mom and Dad who were waiting for him. Still brings tears.
ReplyDeleteI've only tried to grow broccoli once and it didn't turn out well. Yours looks great! Maybe I'll try again.