Let’s talk bosoms. Are you all ready for a real Helen story? This is a true story and it happened 40+ years ago.
Let me do a bit of setting up the story.
The first photo on the left I call ‘High Hopes’ and the second one on the right I’m practicing my cheerleader pose.
Left photo is mom at John Brown College. Right, my mom, her sister Aunt Maxine, and the girls they had. My oldest sis, Lou Ann is standing next to mom, second from the left.
Mom, me and Sue
Sue and me
My brother caught me ‘underwears’ on vacation the summer before my junior year in high school. Said he might need it for blackmail purposes. This was the same trip that Ben woke me up, Helen, Helen, there’s a place that can help you!! I sat up and saw a sign, FLATS FIXED- $5.oo. And yes, the bra is padded. And there’s still enough room in each cup for a Chihuahua pup to be able to curl up and go to sleep.
My niece, Sarah and I out at the Lake Hefner spillway. They were letting some water out onto the spillway and you could catch fish with your bare hands. My baby brother and I took his kids and several nieces and nephews out and we had a ball.
If you look at the photos, you will notice that me, my sisters and our mom were, to put it nicely, not endowed. Pretty much flat as a board, one and all. One of the few jokes my momma ever told was that after I’d gotten my second motorcycle she said she was going to take me to the tattoo parlor and have them tattoo FRONT on my chest so if I was ever in a wreck paramedics would know not to turn my neck around the other way and kill me.
I’m getting tired so I’m going to make you wait for the story. I’ve got it all set up now and we will be able to get right to it (almost) tomorrow…
To Be Continued…
12 comments:
OMGosh that is hilarious ...fix a flat!! I love the photos.. and you in your skivvies wooohooo... and the pups I about lost it there I laughed so hard. I bet ya'll did have fun catching fish with your hands..very skillful. Helen you are so funny. Thank you for sharing your pictures and memories with us.
This is hilarious so far! I can't wait for the rest of the story. The women in my family are built exactly like the ones in yours. The women in my husband's family are pretty flat as well. I've told my poor daughters that they don't stand a chance - they've got nothing coming to them from either side of the family.
One of my sisters had implants, so did my sister in law - traitors.
I'm from the opposite camp, and envy those who can (1) wear strappy tops and (2) indulge in any form of activity without feeling that the boobs are going to fly over my shoulder. I love the bit about the tattoo saying "front" - that's what made me laugh.
Come on Helen, you've slept enough - now get on with the rest of the story!!
Caroline
The photos are lovely.. reading through your post and seeing the photos was kind of like a mini journey.. enjoyed reading about your memories!
AHHHHHHH i am so excited for tomorrow to get here!! i so love your stories!!
Dar, every word is true. He woke me flat out from a nap hollering Helen Helen. I wanted to smack him upside the head but he was driving and mom and dad were laughing, too.
KayKay... the best thing you can do for your children is to help them get a sense of humor about it. The last time I cried about being flat chested I was fourteen, then I looked and my mom and my sis and remembered my sis that had died two years before and decided if I was going to cry about it I might as well get ready to cry my whole life... so I decided it would be much more fun to joke about it. And I know about traitors, too. One of my nieces had implants...
Caroline, I feel for you, I truly do. I've got friends that were so proud of their bodacious ta tas back in the day that now have bad backs and deep groove in their shoulders from toting them around all these years. And forget going out without a bra. They would be soooo embarrassed, not to mention uncomfortable.
Phoenix, thanks for stopping by and I hope you'll come back again. Not all my stories are about body parts or lack thereof. But I do try to help folks enjoy life a little bit more in my way.
Laura, I am so glad to hear that. I'd hate to think that no one had fun. I didn't want to do the horrid 'to be continued' thing but I was droopy eyed tired.
Oh Helen
On behalf of all us with flatter than flat fronts thank you !
I love the way you write .
I must say though you need a disclaimer to remind me
that I am gonna need
panty liners due to all the laughing I am about to do as I read your post :)
Big big hugs to you !
Have a wonderful Evening.
Happy Trails
Ohhhh! Too funny! Now I have a pain in my side from laughing too much! I recognize that wallpaper behind you and your Mom and sister. I think we had the same stuff!
Okay, it's YOUR day to make me roll around bustin' up and in amazement at you. You're the real deal, Sass. I LOVE YOU!!! Gotta keep reading now........
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